Celebration of All Hallow's Eve
by T'Key'la
Summary: Written for fairyniamh in response to the Trick or Treat left on my LiveJournal. She requested Kirk/Spock and chocolate ice cream. Written as a Memo, concerning the celebration of Halloween. Fluff and fun.


**MEMO  
TO:** James T. Kirk  
Captain, USS Enterprise  
**FROM:** Dr. Leonard H. McCoy  
Chief Medical Officer  
**RE:** Celebration of All Hallow's Eve and Planning Thereof

Captain,

I would like to know if you have given any additional consideration to the idea which I proposed several weeks ago concerning holding a Halloween Party on board. (I know that overgrown elf could give you the exact date of the first time I told you I thought it was a good idea.) As the crew of the Enterprise has been under tremendous stress due to the nature of our most recent missions, such a party would be a welcome respite from the responsibilities of those who serve so faithfully aboard your starship.

I can say with some degree of authority that nerves are beginning to fray, tempers are growing unnaturally short, and hair pulling has been reported in several locations about the ship.

As I stated previously, I will make all of the necessary arrangements for said celebration. All that is required is your approval. (I might add that if your decision is to refuse my request, your next physical – due in less than three weeks – will be an experience you will _never_ want to repeat. And I already have the hobgoblin's promise to make sure you show up for it.)

I anticipate a response in the affirmative as soon as it is convenient for you to send it.

**MEMO  
TO**: Dr. Leonard H. McCoy  
Chief Pain-in-My-Very-Fine-Ass  
**FROM**: James T. Kirk  
Captain with the power to leave you on the next semi-inhabitable planet  
**RE**: Your damn party

I hereby grant you full permission to plan and carry out your celebration of All Hallow's Eve, with the following stipulations:  
You provide real alcohol and subsequent hang-over hypos for any crew members who overindulge. These hypos will be administered without your customary warnings and general grumpiness. And that includes me if I need one.  
You make your nearly-galaxy-wide famous hand cranked chocolate ice cream. Spock told me he's never tasted it and that is a crime against Humanity and Vulcan(ity?). I will make sure the kitchens have enough ice for the cranks.  
Costumes are optional. I know you want us all to wear one but some of the non-Human crew members may still not understand the intricacies of appropriate costume procurement and the exhibition thereof. (For God's sake, make sure we avoid a repeat of the last costume related disaster. I will _not_ contact Admiral Pike again to ask/beg him to come bail out members of the crew caught naked on the streets of any leave planet.)  
It is not appropriate for you to threaten your superior officer because you did not receive immediate permission to hold your party. I have important things to do. I am the _Captain_. And Spock doesn't want to be drug into our "squabbles" as he so eloquently put it. Have your party. Stop threatening me.  
That is all.

**MEMO  
TO**: The Man-Child in Charge of This Boat  
**FROM**: The Doctor Who Can and Will Make Your Life Uncomfortable AND Knows All Your Secrets  
**RE**: Halloween Party

Thank you, finally. I ordered your costume, Spock's costume, and my costume. You won't be embarrassed, I promise.

Will you pay for the food if I buy the real alcohol?

Also, your ass ain't all that fine.

**MEMO**  
**TO**: My ex-best friend  
**FROM**: Still the CAPTAIN of this starship  
**RE**: Food

Yes, I'll pay.

If the costumes are at all embarrassing, you're going to answer to Spock, not to me.

My ass is extremely fine. I have written testaments to the fact.

**MEMO**  
**TO**: Captain of this starship  
**FROM**: Your best friend forever and ever  
**RE**: Thank you

The costumes will not be embarrassing. I even ran the idea by Uhura. She approved. Surely that relieves any concerns you have.

**MEMO**  
**TO**: James T. Kirk  
Captain, USS Enterprise  
**FROM**: Spock  
First Officer, USS Enterprise  
**RE**: Celebration of All Hallow's Eve

Captain,

May I request once again that you refrain from including me in any planning, discussion or correspondence with Dr. McCoy concerning the festivities to be held on the traditional date of Earth's All Hallow's Eve. While I have no objections to the prospects of said celebration, I do not wish to be used as a bargaining chip by either you or Dr. McCoy. In addition, if you would request, again, that he refrain from indulging in juvenile name-calling while discussing my (unwilling) participation, I would appreciate it.

I have completed the shift rotations for the day of the party and the day following. Only a minimum number of the crew will be required to report to their shifts the day after, ensuring that the vast majority of the crew will be afforded the opportunity to (over) indulge in the food, drink, and general frivolities associated with a Human party.

I am appending the above referenced rotations for your approval or revision.

**MEMO**  
**TO**: Spock  
First Officer, USS Enterprise  
**FROM**: James T. Kirk  
Captain, USS Enterprise  
**RE**: Celebration of All Hallow's Eve

I'm returning the approved crew rotations for your dissemination. Thank you for taking care of making up the schedules. I did make one alteration – you aren't working the entire day after. You'll be coming to the party and you'll be taking off the next day, just like I will. We have celebrating to do.

I'll talk to Bones again about not calling you names. But you know he does it out of affection not disrespect. I doubt I'll stop him but I promise to try.

Bones said the costumes arrived this morning and he left ours in our cabins. We'll try them on after we have dinner.

By the way, how is it you know so accurately what the memos between me and Bones said? You wouldn't have been hacking my email, again, would you?

**MEMO**  
**TO**: Jim  
**FROM**: Spock  
**RE**: Details on the Celebration of All Hallow's Eve

I may have inadvertently seen the content of the memos traded between you and Dr. McCoy while I was doing… entirely appropriate Starfleet research on your computer. It is possible that you left them open and when I saw my name, my natural curiosity compelled me to read the context.

I will join you for dinner in the mess shortly.

I will testify to Dr. McCoy about the unparalleled beauty (i.e. fineness) of your backside, should you request me to do so.

**MEMO**  
**TO**: Spock  
**FROM**: Jim  
**RE**: My email

Uh huh. I don't think I've ever left any of my emails open. Oh well. Not like I can keep my passwords private from you. I'll keep trying though. And we'll keep lying to assuring Starfleet.

No need for you to tell Bones my ass is very fine. He's just jealous and won't admit it.

**MEMO**  
**TO**: My 2nd-best friend  
**FROM**: Still the CAPTAIN of this starship  
**RE**: Costumes

We tried on our costumes. They fit perfectly. Thank you. Not sure how Spock feels about carrying the sword but I told him the Three Musketeers could not be seen without one. At any rate, he always carries his phaser.

I like my hat. Glad it's the biggest one of all. And that it's blue, to match my eyes.

Good job.

PS STOP calling Spock names.

**MEMO  
**TO: Jim  
FROM: McCoy

Glad you like them. Of course your hat is the biggest one. Matches your ego.

I'll stop calling the green-bloodied hobgoblin names when I'm laid in my final resting place with I hope will be the green, green grass of Georgia and not some backwater hellhole where you decided we should violate as many Starfleet regulations as possible.

**MEMO  
**TO: Bones  
FROM: Jim

_What_? Are you drinking already?

~o0o~

**MEMO**  
**TO**: James T. Kirk  
Captain, USS Enterprise  
**FROM**: Spock  
First Officer, USS Enterprise  
**RE**: Celebration of All Hallow's Eve and Its Unfortunate Aftermath

Captain,

I am compelled to once again express my deep and thorough remorse at my behavior at the Halloween party. Although I had heard rumors of the effects of chocolate ice cream on Vulcans, I had not previously experienced the delicacy in question. I therefore had no way of knowing that eating the exquisitely delicious, sinfully delectable confection would compel me to publically proclaim our bond and our devotion to one another. I certainly would not have chosen to demonstrate it so thoroughly by, as Dr. McCoy regretfully but accurately described it, playing tonsil hockey with you. In public, surrounding by almost the entire crew.

I am at a loss to find the words to sufficiently represent my regret. I embarrassed you and I embarrassed myself. That is inexcusable.

I am very sorry.

**MEMO  
TO**: My T'hy'la  
**FROM**: Jim

Would you please stop with the self-flagellation? Half the crew knew we were bonded and the other half had guessed without us telling them. While I may not have chosen the party to make the fact that we're a "couple" public, it was going to come out eventually. I'm not embarrassed. You kissed me. You told me I have the most beautiful eyes you'd ever seen. That was it. If anyone told you that you said or did anything for which you need be embarrassed, they are having sport at your expense.

Now please stop hiding in your quarters and come back to mine. I managed to snag the last of the chocolate ice cream. (Being Captain does have its perks, like telling the ensign from engineering she could _not_ have that last cup.)

When you get here, you can have all the ice cream and tell me more about the stunning blue of my eyes. I'll even put my hat back on if you want. You seemed to really like the feathers.


End file.
